To Cake or Not to Cake

Tomorrow is the 2 YEAR anniversary of Trouble with the Curvy! I'm pretty excited. In last year's anniversary blog I was disappointed to realize that celebrating a weight loss anniversary with cake is like celebrating sobriety with a beer so I didn't eat cake but I'm wondering if maybe I should have.... Instead it seems like I spent the following year just maintain weight instead of continuing to lose the rest. This year I'm wondering if I should just have the damn cake and then spend the rest of the year making more progress.

I don't know if anyone else experiences this but anytime I indulge in something super sinful I now feel something like guilt that makes me want to work harder when I'm done. I think this is a good mindset to have but it is also a slippery slope isn't is? Eat one cookie and you end up feeling like Cookie Monster getting busted in Family Guy...

It is no secret that I have an addictive personality. I find something I like and I tend to go a bit overboard. Lucky for me I'm not all that partial to alcohol or hard drugs that give addiction a scary face. Instead I'm addicted to KelMat sandwiches... turns out even without meat.. They were out of roast beef yesterday and I still ordered one without the beef and was actually pretty pleased to realize that cutting the meat means cutting at least 300 calories from the sandwich. I think that's how I'll order it in the future... you know.. the equivalent of  "cutting back" instead of giving it up for good. The shitty part about addiction is that it triggers happy chemicals in your brain. What sounds healthy about giving something up knowing it is going to make you UNhappy? I mean I know that being dependent on any one thing for happiness is bad no matter what it is but I'm seemingly addicted to a lot of food things so learning how to manage these addictions is really the rehab that works for me. 

I didn't walk yesterday but I have made peace with the fact that I need to leave Brutus be for the day and see how he does. He hasn't started chewing his split as I feared and he seems to be pretty normal so I'm going to take my lunch break to walk instead of drive home to placate my "dog mom crazy impulse." meanwhile on the walk I'll be thinking about what delicious thing I can make for supper....and what kind of cake I should have tomorrow....

<3 Katie
177lbs
4


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