Awkward!
I've been on a roll lately sharing inappropriate stories so why stop now?
I've bragged about how much I love the classroom at my gym because typically there isn't anyone else in the room with me and that is a large part of its appeal. Today I wasn't alone and not only did it result in a funny story but it helped me conquer a gym fear I have.
As a chubby kid I hated exercising in front of people because I felt like everyone was always staring at me. It made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to do it. The older I got the more I sort of grew out of this but I find that when I am at the gym I need to concentrate on not worrying about the people around me. I really just enjoy working out alone.
So today I went to the gym all excited to rock the kickboxing. I entered the gym and noticed that the classroom was dark and the door was open as I was putting on my sneakers. I was relieved that I could stick to my plan because if someone is in the room I usually just find something else to do. So I got into my tunes (new Kings of Leon album is STELLAR by the way) and waltzed right into the room and shut the door and turned on the light. To my surprise (and complete horror actually) the room wasn't empty. I startled a lady that was in the dark room using the free weights. At that point I couldn't really turn around and say "oh, nevermind. I can't stand exercising around other people." She introduced herself and I asked if it was ok if I kickboxed while she did her thing. She said no problem and I started the video.
I figured that she would leave after a bit and I'd have the place to myself again. Wrong. I was a trooper and just kept going and tried to focus on my kicks and shin blocks (I'm getting seriously good at this so muggers beware, I could kick your ass). About halfway through the workout I succeeded in getting her out of the room but I'm not proud of how I did it... I also want to make clear that it wasn't intentional....
One word: flatulence. It is a great way to get a whole workout room to yourself. Just as I was getting into the heavy kicking portion of the workout, I felt my tummy start to rumble. I thought it was alright though and just kept going. When I went to kick during the next set a huge fart exploded out of me like a canon. When I say huge I mean I heard it over the tunes in my headphones... and my workout-roommate heard it over hers too because she shot a look over to me like "did you seriously just fart like a man in this closed room with no windows?" The answer? Why yes, Ma'am I did.
She finished her set of arm curls and left the room. I only assume she followed those arm curls
with a tummy hurl because it wasn't silent but it was deadly. I wanted to leave the room too...
By the time I finished the rest of the workout and ventured out into the gym she was gone and I am thankful for that. After feeling pretty mortified I thought how funny it really is. If only I could have caught it on video like the lady in the live TV workout video did. It was pretty much the best gym blooper (pooper?!) ever.
So now that I have farted and cleared a room, what do I really have left to fear? The answer to that is I'll be on the receiving end of the fart next time instead of dealing it. I think I would bust out laughing though knowing what I know now.
I've bragged about how much I love the classroom at my gym because typically there isn't anyone else in the room with me and that is a large part of its appeal. Today I wasn't alone and not only did it result in a funny story but it helped me conquer a gym fear I have.
As a chubby kid I hated exercising in front of people because I felt like everyone was always staring at me. It made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to do it. The older I got the more I sort of grew out of this but I find that when I am at the gym I need to concentrate on not worrying about the people around me. I really just enjoy working out alone.
So today I went to the gym all excited to rock the kickboxing. I entered the gym and noticed that the classroom was dark and the door was open as I was putting on my sneakers. I was relieved that I could stick to my plan because if someone is in the room I usually just find something else to do. So I got into my tunes (new Kings of Leon album is STELLAR by the way) and waltzed right into the room and shut the door and turned on the light. To my surprise (and complete horror actually) the room wasn't empty. I startled a lady that was in the dark room using the free weights. At that point I couldn't really turn around and say "oh, nevermind. I can't stand exercising around other people." She introduced herself and I asked if it was ok if I kickboxed while she did her thing. She said no problem and I started the video.
I figured that she would leave after a bit and I'd have the place to myself again. Wrong. I was a trooper and just kept going and tried to focus on my kicks and shin blocks (I'm getting seriously good at this so muggers beware, I could kick your ass). About halfway through the workout I succeeded in getting her out of the room but I'm not proud of how I did it... I also want to make clear that it wasn't intentional....
One word: flatulence. It is a great way to get a whole workout room to yourself. Just as I was getting into the heavy kicking portion of the workout, I felt my tummy start to rumble. I thought it was alright though and just kept going. When I went to kick during the next set a huge fart exploded out of me like a canon. When I say huge I mean I heard it over the tunes in my headphones... and my workout-roommate heard it over hers too because she shot a look over to me like "did you seriously just fart like a man in this closed room with no windows?" The answer? Why yes, Ma'am I did.
She finished her set of arm curls and left the room. I only assume she followed those arm curls
 |
| This is a very fart-worthy position |
By the time I finished the rest of the workout and ventured out into the gym she was gone and I am thankful for that. After feeling pretty mortified I thought how funny it really is. If only I could have caught it on video like the lady in the live TV workout video did. It was pretty much the best gym blooper (pooper?!) ever.
So now that I have farted and cleared a room, what do I really have left to fear? The answer to that is I'll be on the receiving end of the fart next time instead of dealing it. I think I would bust out laughing though knowing what I know now.
oh Katie you kill me!!
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