The Hardest Part

I am quickly realizing that the hardest part of this whole journey is going to be sticking to it. That's probably not news because that's why I haven't succeeded before. Typically exercise and eating right takes more time and when life gets busy it is the easiest thing to throw to the dogs. I am no exception to this and I have given it up before because I have to go in early for work or because of whatever else seems like a better way to spend the time. Simply put these are all excuses and if it is important to me then I can make time for it if I try.

The sacrifice of all of this is starting to sink in. I have trouble with the curvy because I like the way my life it when I am not giving up time with Ben and when I get to eat anything I want. I like things to be easy because it is so much harder to maintain a sunny disposition when things are hard.

At the beginning of this week I wrote about how I am going to be a Monday-Thursday blogger because when Sunday night comes, I have to mentally and literally prepare myself for the week if I am going to be successful. Giving up the fried food and giving up eating anything I want when I want, is not nearly as hard as giving up the time I spend watching movies and spending time with my guy. I know sticking to this is going to make me a better partner and he doesn't complain that I am neglecting him. He's supportive and continues to encourage me and that is why I like being around him as often as possible.

When I was a teenager I loved to write. Writing was such a therapy and I did it for fun. I was looking forward to remembering that part of myself when I started this blog. I hate to admit that sitting down to write tonight feels like a chore and I think it is because I haven't had any time today where I have just zoned out and relaxed. From 5:45 this morning my brain has been in "full speed ahead" mode and for lack of a shinier way to describe it, I am just wiped out. Usually knowing that I have a day off to catch up on things I neglect to sit and write keeps me going. This week, I don't have a day off so I feel like I am supposed to have more energy but I never see the surplus because it is being drained as fast as I put it in.

I've said before that this time I am determined and I mean it. Even feeling like it is a chore and even if I really don't want to do it tonight, this blog is the biggest thing keeping me accountable. There is something about seeing failure in black and white that keeps you motivated.

I think this was a needed pep talk to myself. Just because I am determined and I'm not going to give up doesn't mean it is going to be easy and it doesn't mean I am going to feel like a better me every single day.

I am in some serious need of taking a chill pill and having a good laugh. So tonight is a "Baby Monkey Riding Backwards on a Pig" night. Enjoy!

<3 Katie
Day 10
209lbs
Exhausted
And As Promised, the return of the Picture! This is my tough girl pose:


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