Trouble with the Curvy

Do you ever have those days when all you can do is worry? I get like this sometimes but not as often as I used to. I used to worry about stupid stuff like if the house was clean all the time. When we got Brutus I had to let go of some of these things because certain lifestyles don't follow the rules that turn out not to really be rules if you just resign yourself to not caring about certain things anymore. Now when I get like this, it seems to actually be things that warrant some worry. Because I'm an overthinker, I analyze every possible outcome to death and decide how I would handle myself in each scenario and then I'm ok again... for the most part anyway. The last few weeks have been kind of like this but on my walk last night I had an epiphany. The more I worry about things the less I am acting on swaying my own destiny. I'm only planning for what is going to happen to me, not what I can do to change the way things work out. I'm powerful though and I forget th...

It will be two years in June since I began to use this blog as a tool to getting to my weight loss goal. The first year I kicked ass and lost 40lbs. In the second year I haven't lost any weight cumulatively but I did keep that first 40lbs off which I think I should be just as proud of as the loss itself. This, to me, is proof that I've made some big changes in my life that lead me to be healthier and happier. That being said, I'm simply not done yet. I have about 25 more pounds to go and something I've learned over the past year is that this blog really is the best aid that I have in actually losing weight. I think the changes I've made have allowed me to keep the weight off without having to be hyper vigilant.  In order to lose the rest of the weight I need to be accountable and pay pretty close attention to what goes in and what I burn off. This blog is the best way I have to do that. I've added a few more tools to my arsenal including a Fitbit, a dog, and...

The last time I wrote I felt so excited to get through the two weeks that just passed me. I thought Spring would be here to enjoy even just a little and I hoped to be at 173lbs and as a reward could start planning a trip to MA to the SK Family BBQ. Unfortunately neither of those things happened. Instead my marathon work weeks got shortened because I wasn't needed for both weekend days like I thought and it ended up not being to bad at all. In the middle of last week though I came down with a nasty head cold and it laid me up and took me out of commission for a couple of days and completely ruined this past weekend as I just spent both days mainly on the couch with the dog. This past weekend also happened to be gorgeous out and the most Springlike and I couldn't enjoy it because my nose was to busy keeping me gross to do anything but rest. Today was the first day I felt better and like myself again and it snowed. Womp Womp... I also did not make my goal of 173. I did get the...

Snickers, in their infinite wisdom, tells us that "When you're hungry, you're not you." Thankfully I don't turn into Marcia Brady or Danny Trejo but I think they really do have a point. When I'm hungry I'm not much fun to be around at all. I have no delusions that I'm not cut out for competitive reality TV competition if it requires that I operate while hungry. You keep me fed and I will work to the bone. You let me starve and don't expect a whole hell of a lot out of me. On a human level this makes complete evolutionary sense. On a weight loss level, it's kind of a problem. Hunger is the number one reason that weight loss is hard. Hunger is a reminder that you want to eat and when you're trying to lose weight eating is the enemy. Ok that's a little dramatic and if we start throwing around analogies like that this could turn into a whole different kind of self helpy blog that I have no business writing... The point is that if you'...

I couldn't wait any longer. I had to find out what the difference was when I tried on the same clothes as Day 1. Before and Now: Apples to apples...   I tried to even match the weird look on my face... That's a "Here's Johnny" smile on my face and that should worry us all but I think overall it is a good representation of what the loss really looks like. I also should have removed my sweet slippers but it's friggin' cold on that floor barefoot.   The difference here is 38lbs. One of the things I really struggled with was knowing what a certain weight looks like. I never weighed myself throughout my life because I honestly just didn't want to know. I didn't want to tie my self worth to a number and I think that was the right choice for me then.  Now that my self worth has been defined by other things I don't see the number as a threat but a motivator.  Having a visual of what I look like 38lbs heavier in the exact same clothes gives m...

I can't call this blog the "Before and After" because I'm not quite done yet. My goal is 150lbs and right now I have about 25lbs to go. It being winter and snowmaggedon 2015 its been difficult to keep my activity level up but I've tried to adjust my calorie intake to compensate. This means that, yes, I've started counting calories and I have to say that it isn't nearly as bad as I thought. It helps making better choices all the time a lot easier because I've come to know how many calories are in the things I really crave.. IE Kelmat Sandwiches... Valentine's Day 2015 Day 1 On Valentine's Day, Ben took a photo of me in my snow sliding gear. When I saw the photo I almost couldn't believe it. My mid section and thighs have never ever looked like that in a photo. This is the first photo of myself I've ever seen when I thought "DAMN! Look how skinny that girl is... wait that's ME!" It was an incredible feeling ...

I have never really had a job where I get to take a whole hour for lunch. This new found time in my life is so awesome and I struggle with what amazing things I can do in an hour. I can go for a ride and listen to my audiobook, write a blog entry, go to Kelmat for a delicious sandwich, get my grocery shopping done, and when the snow is gone I'll be able to walk on my break. Today as I was sitting down to write this entry I got called to our front office because I had a package to pick up. Last time this happened I was disappointed to find that the package was a couple of calendars and a quasi-sales pitch from someone I worked with at Day's who clearly doesn't understand that my role here is way different than what I used to do there.  When I came around the corner to see a gorgeous arrangement of flowers with a card that simply said "I love you more everyday" my heart exploded into pure glee. I am so lucky to have someone in my life that surprises and amazes me....