Piss & Vinegar
I couldn't decide weather to call this post "Piss and Vinegar" or "I Don't Care." Either way the sentiment is the same. I wish I could say the "after vacation funk" has subsided but it really hasn't. I don't want to put the energy into it and therefore I could easily slip back into old habits that made me fat. I really feel, quite literally like I am full of Piss and Vinegar. I want to care again though so P&V it is.
I'm hovering around that 180lbs mark and I know it is because when I feel like I've had success it kills my drive. When I am feeling good like I've accomplished something I just don't care if I break the rules. If I could scream at myself without looking like a crazy person yelling at themselves I'd drill some sense into me. Instead I am just quietly fading off into chubby oblivion.
I couldn't even motivate myself to go to the grocery store. All I want to do is shut myself off to the world and piss the day away but wasting it. What the hell happened to me on vacation? I feel like I'm back at square one as far as my mindset goes and that can't be a good thing.
Tonight I am forcing myself to go back to Zumba. I've got to get this train back on track before it is too late. I feel like that idiot girl who goes back to her stupid ex even though she knows he is ALL wrong for her but she just doesn't care until she starts paying the consequences after doing it anyway. I need something to breathe some life back into me because I'm tired of it all. I think this is where having a workout buddy to walk with would be great. I wish that Linds-to-the-E and I lived closer because I really feel like we would be so good for each other.
This journey is as mental as it is physical and sometimes more. No one else that I see on a regular basis has a focus on working out so I feel like I am missing the community aspect of this. Instead I have to keep going this alone and for the first time in a year I feel how lonely it can be.
<3Katie
180lbs
I'm hovering around that 180lbs mark and I know it is because when I feel like I've had success it kills my drive. When I am feeling good like I've accomplished something I just don't care if I break the rules. If I could scream at myself without looking like a crazy person yelling at themselves I'd drill some sense into me. Instead I am just quietly fading off into chubby oblivion.
I couldn't even motivate myself to go to the grocery store. All I want to do is shut myself off to the world and piss the day away but wasting it. What the hell happened to me on vacation? I feel like I'm back at square one as far as my mindset goes and that can't be a good thing.
Tonight I am forcing myself to go back to Zumba. I've got to get this train back on track before it is too late. I feel like that idiot girl who goes back to her stupid ex even though she knows he is ALL wrong for her but she just doesn't care until she starts paying the consequences after doing it anyway. I need something to breathe some life back into me because I'm tired of it all. I think this is where having a workout buddy to walk with would be great. I wish that Linds-to-the-E and I lived closer because I really feel like we would be so good for each other.
This journey is as mental as it is physical and sometimes more. No one else that I see on a regular basis has a focus on working out so I feel like I am missing the community aspect of this. Instead I have to keep going this alone and for the first time in a year I feel how lonely it can be.
<3Katie
180lbs
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