Hormones and a Mastiff- It's Birthday Week!
I genuinely have no idea how many, if any, men read this blog. If you have a penis and you're reading this. Thank you! You're amazing. However, much like the shark week post where I go into the perils of being a woman, I feel you deserve a warning before continuing through the rest of this post.
If you have lovely lady lumps and a beloved (albeit completely inconvenient) vajayjay then I think you'll relate to what you are about to read and don't worry, this one won't be nearly as graphic... I don't think...
While having hormones raging through your body isn't exclusively a female experience, have estrogen as the main hormone pulsing through your body is a special kind of torture. When you perceive yourself to be a strong, independent woman, that is tougher than a boiled owl and then you cry at the most inopportune time, the reality is hard to face. Sometimes I can't control my emotions and I'm pretty terrible at managing my moods. I tend to internalize everything and that really isn't a great idea and I know it but sometimes I'm unable to think reasonable thanks to the estrogen.
I bring this up because the past week was ruled by estrogen that seemed to be in overdrive. I have so much on my plate that wasn't there a month and a half ago and sometimes in the flurry it is easy to forget that not every sees things the way I do. There are things I'm trying to get over that I know will make me happier in the end but with the insertion of a new furry stressor and getting my masters along with all of the other stuff that comes with being an adult like paying bills etc, I just get overwhelmed throw up my hands and give up... and by give up I mean cry uncontrollably. I'm embarrassed when this happens and I genuinely just don't know what to do with myself.
I need someone to get me out of my own head and unfortunately Brutus hasn't learned english yet so there is not help from the one friend I spend the most time with. When I get in moods like this guess what I do like a bajillion other people in the US? I eat like crap. Granted I'm working it off on the walks but that just keeps me where I'm at, it doesn't help me lose anything and I'm still almost 20lbs from goal. Food makes me feel better and worse all at the same time and that just adds to everything that overwhelms me.
I'm having a rough go of it lately. I feel like I have a problem I can't quite put my finger on and therefore no way to solve it. This week is birthday week though and that always cheers me up a bit. It is also slowly getting better with Brutus. He's starting to get it and so are we. We are a work in progress.
The greatest highlight from the past week though was that Brutus made a friend! On a walk the other night we came across a lovely gentlemen and his 9 month old Mastiff named Bruiser. Bruiser is blind and was rescued by his human from a breeder who was going to put him down because of his sight disability. He will eventually be 200lbs but already at 9 months his head is bigger than Brutus's whole body... literally. We saw them again tonight and every time I see them I just get the warm and fuzzies. It takes a wonderful human to adopt a dog that is as big as a horse and love and nurture him despite his blindness. The next time we see them I will take a picture of the two of them together and share it. I need more of those kinds of moments in my life when estrogen is holding me hostage.
<3 Katie
Day 33 A.B
175lbs
If you have lovely lady lumps and a beloved (albeit completely inconvenient) vajayjay then I think you'll relate to what you are about to read and don't worry, this one won't be nearly as graphic... I don't think...
While having hormones raging through your body isn't exclusively a female experience, have estrogen as the main hormone pulsing through your body is a special kind of torture. When you perceive yourself to be a strong, independent woman, that is tougher than a boiled owl and then you cry at the most inopportune time, the reality is hard to face. Sometimes I can't control my emotions and I'm pretty terrible at managing my moods. I tend to internalize everything and that really isn't a great idea and I know it but sometimes I'm unable to think reasonable thanks to the estrogen.
I bring this up because the past week was ruled by estrogen that seemed to be in overdrive. I have so much on my plate that wasn't there a month and a half ago and sometimes in the flurry it is easy to forget that not every sees things the way I do. There are things I'm trying to get over that I know will make me happier in the end but with the insertion of a new furry stressor and getting my masters along with all of the other stuff that comes with being an adult like paying bills etc, I just get overwhelmed throw up my hands and give up... and by give up I mean cry uncontrollably. I'm embarrassed when this happens and I genuinely just don't know what to do with myself.
I need someone to get me out of my own head and unfortunately Brutus hasn't learned english yet so there is not help from the one friend I spend the most time with. When I get in moods like this guess what I do like a bajillion other people in the US? I eat like crap. Granted I'm working it off on the walks but that just keeps me where I'm at, it doesn't help me lose anything and I'm still almost 20lbs from goal. Food makes me feel better and worse all at the same time and that just adds to everything that overwhelms me.
I'm having a rough go of it lately. I feel like I have a problem I can't quite put my finger on and therefore no way to solve it. This week is birthday week though and that always cheers me up a bit. It is also slowly getting better with Brutus. He's starting to get it and so are we. We are a work in progress.
The greatest highlight from the past week though was that Brutus made a friend! On a walk the other night we came across a lovely gentlemen and his 9 month old Mastiff named Bruiser. Bruiser is blind and was rescued by his human from a breeder who was going to put him down because of his sight disability. He will eventually be 200lbs but already at 9 months his head is bigger than Brutus's whole body... literally. We saw them again tonight and every time I see them I just get the warm and fuzzies. It takes a wonderful human to adopt a dog that is as big as a horse and love and nurture him despite his blindness. The next time we see them I will take a picture of the two of them together and share it. I need more of those kinds of moments in my life when estrogen is holding me hostage.
<3 Katie
Day 33 A.B
175lbs
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