Violent Meditation

Last week I wrote about how I needed some help in the willpower department. Many thanks to Theresa Beauchamp and Jen Porto for their advice and feedback. They both provided some really helpful things that changed my way of actually looking at willpower. First, I would never, ever, punch someone in the face for any reason (Cuz I'm a lovah not a fightah) but I did wonder if the way I characterized meditation may have been a little closed minded. I didn't mean that I don't value meditation just that I don't feel like I have time for that "feel good" stuff that doesn't actually help me do anything but waste more time. As Theresa pointed out, you can't knock it until you try it because you may be surprised. The article she recommends was pretty enlightening. It discusses taking some time to think about your food.. even just the first bite... and making the experience mindful however you see fit. As I was reading it I realized I kind of do that already without consciously knowing it. When I ate that chicken burger that gave me so much grief I savored the hell out of it. Each french fry was incredible and each bite of the CB was delightful in textures and I let myself enjoy eating it. I thought, at the time, this was doing more harm than good because I really did enjoy it... and that's why I want to replicate the habit to recreate that feeling. However, making it a treat means that every time I do that my utils of pleasure won't decrease as rapidly as it would have if I indulged on it every day.

When I got to Jen's comment it clicked. I don't have to say "no" all the time. I just have to make it a treat and then have a standby meal so that I don't stumble into a treat as a solution. A can of beans is a great recommendation but just the idea of making sure there is a healthful easy option at my fingertips when I need it was a light bulb for me. I was also really grateful for her helping me refocus how I problem solve in situations that push me to an easy fix at the cost of my goal. If I would just stop and think, what is my low blood sugar telling me? If it is screaming chicken burger maybe it really means just eat something and stop taking part in those mind games that seem to go into overtime when my blood sugar is low.

I really appreciate that they both took the time to help me see things from a different perspective that I hadn't considered before... and so far it seems to be working :)

<3Katie
Day 341
181lbs
Feeling like I have awesome Allies!

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